1
00:01:10,880 --> 00:01:12,871
Ooh... Ooh...
2
00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:15,916
Ah. Aah...
3
00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:39,150
Who the hell are you?
4
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,710
Welcome back on-line, sir.
5
00:02:18,720 --> 00:02:22,998
- How are you?
- Not good. I don't know who I am.
6
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,197
- Where is this place?
- You have amnesia.
7
00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,671
That's common
after prolonged periods in deep sleep.
8
00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:33,719
- You have been out for over 200 years.
- 200 years?!
9
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:39,591
I tried to wake you in the spring,
but you insisted on another three months.
10
00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:43,429
I've just been preparing your breakfast tray.
11
00:02:43,640 --> 00:02:47,553
These cornflakes have got
grated raw onions sprinkled on them.
12
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,870
That's how you like them, sir.
13
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:53,271
Ugh! The orange juice is revolting!
14
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:58,230
That's your early morning pick-me-up,
chilled vindaloo sauce.
15
00:02:59,880 --> 00:03:02,269
I drink cold curry sauce for breakfast?
16
00:03:02,480 --> 00:03:08,919
It depends. If you get up in the afternoon,
you prefer a can of last night's flat lager.
17
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:14,632
That's why you keep a tea strainer
by your bed - to sieve out cigar dimps.
18
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:18,236
I drink, smoke
and have cold curry sauce for breakfast?
19
00:03:18,400 --> 00:03:21,870
I sound like some barely human
grossed-out slime-ball.
20
00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:24,992
Oh, it's all flooding back, is it, sir?
21
00:03:25,160 --> 00:03:27,674
No. None of it is.
22
00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:31,116
Perhaps these will help.
Your personal artefacts.
23
00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:36,638
Kristine Kochanski. You dated her once before
she discarded you for a catering officer.
24
00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,389
- She's beautiful.
- It's your ambition, sir, some day,
25
00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:44,872
to win her back,
then lie on her and move up and down rapidly
26
00:03:45,040 --> 00:03:48,589
in that curious way
that humans find so agreeable.
27
00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,354
Personally, I prefer partnership whist.
28
00:03:54,920 --> 00:03:56,751
What? I play guitar?
29
00:03:56,960 --> 00:04:00,111
Do I have a head like an amusing ice cube?
30
00:04:03,240 --> 00:04:06,550
Chuck out some power chords.
See if anything comes back.
31
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,354
Yeah! The axe man is back!
32
00:04:14,920 --> 00:04:19,755
Don't patronise me. I can't play.
Anyone with half an ear can tell that.
33
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:21,911
When your personality is restored,
34
00:04:22,080 --> 00:04:27,200
you will firmly believe you can play guitar
like the ghost of Hendrix.
35
00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:33,348
Is there something good you can tell me
about myself? Something... laudable?
36
00:04:33,520 --> 00:04:37,149
Laudable... You sometimes help me
with my laundry duties
37
00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:42,792
by turning your underpants inside out
and extending the wear time by three weeks.
38
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:48,028
I'm an animal. I'm a tasteless,
uncouth, mindless, tone-deaf,
39
00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:51,078
randy, blokeish, semi-literate space bum.
40
00:04:51,280 --> 00:04:54,556
Oh! Welcome back, Mr Lister, sir!
41
00:04:55,360 --> 00:04:59,797
- What's that?
- Mr Rimmer, sir. This is his light bee.
42
00:05:03,560 --> 00:05:05,710
- He's a hologram.
- Rimmer?
43
00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,395
- He's my best mate, isn't he?
- Sir, you are sick!
44
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:14,910
Maybe a synaptic enhancer will do the trick.
45
00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,789
Initiating boot-up sequence.
46
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,110
Downloading physical form.
47
00:05:36,680 --> 00:05:39,797
Access personality banks. Load arrogance.
48
00:05:42,720 --> 00:05:44,711
Load charisma.
49
00:05:48,360 --> 00:05:50,510
Load neuroses.
50
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,071
Download memory.
51
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,798
Oh, THAT Rimmer.
52
00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:08,358
Nice cornflakes. Nice and oniony.
53
00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:12,153
Pass the Tabasco sauce. Needs a bit more pep.
54
00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:22,158
Congratulations.
You're on the way to full recall.
55
00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:26,916
- You'll soon think you can play guitar.
- I CAN play the guitar!
56
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,629
I'm a diva! I make that lump of wood sing
57
00:06:30,800 --> 00:06:34,998
like a Yukon bear trapper
on his annual visit to the brothel.
58
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,555
Maybe, but the deal stays the same.
59
00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:43,278
I know. If I want to play guitar,
I have do it in outer space.
60
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,829
- Peasants.
- I suggest we start debriefing.
61
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,070
- Mr Rimmer?
- Thank you, Kryten.
62
00:06:48,240 --> 00:06:51,835
Now, gentlemen,
as we know, we have lost Red Dwarf.
63
00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:55,595
This is not the time for petty recrimination.
64
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,797
The time for that
is when Lister is court-martialled.
65
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:03,232
- I didn't lose it.
- You're the one who parked it
66
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:05,510
and can't remember where you left it.
67
00:07:05,720 --> 00:07:10,555
They're all the same, those little blue-green
planetoids - blue-green and planetoidy.
68
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,439
Sirs, there's no advantage in finger-pointing.
69
00:07:13,600 --> 00:07:18,071
We didn't lose Red Dwarf. It was stolen
by persons or life-forms unknown.
70
00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:23,513
Who'd steal a gigantic trash can with no brakes
and three million years on the clock?
71
00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,439
Rogue droids,
genetically engineered life-forms,
72
00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:31,355
figments of Mr Lister's imagination
made solid by some weird space ray.
73
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:36,992
Who knows? The important thing is that after
200 years following the trail, we have them.
74
00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:40,397
- What do you mean?
- They had to make a detour
75
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,313
to circumnavigate this asteroid belt.
76
00:07:43,480 --> 00:07:47,189
However, Starbug is small enough
to go through the middle.
77
00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:53,515
For the first time for two centuries, we can
head them off at the pass and recover Holly.
78
00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:56,837
You're forgetting
about Space Corps Directive 1742.
79
00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:03,229
1742? "No member of the Corps should ever
report for duty in a ginger toupee".
80
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:10,312
Thank you for reminding me of that, sir,
but how is it pertinent to our present situation?
81
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,511
- 1743, then.
- Oh, I see.
82
00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:16,150
"No vessel should transverse
an asteroid belt without deflectors."
83
00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:20,438
- Yes! God, he's pedantic.
- Rimmer, check out the supply situation.
84
00:08:20,600 --> 00:08:24,593
Your hologram's on battery back-up.
Oxygen for three months.
85
00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,320
Water, if we drink recyc, seven weeks.
86
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:32,235
Worst of all, we're down to our last 2,000
poppadoms. We're in trouble.
87
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:36,752
You know how unstable those belts are.
Rogue asteroids, meteor storms...
88
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,309
One direct hit on that view-screen,
89
00:08:39,480 --> 00:08:43,359
and our innards will turn inside out
quicker than Lister's underpants.
90
00:08:43,560 --> 00:08:45,949
We're out of options. We're going in.
91
00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:50,955
Recommend the Cat pilots. His superior
nasal intuition will give us our best chance.
92
00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,869
For pity's sake!
One breach and we're people p�t�.
93
00:08:55,680 --> 00:09:02,518
There's a Cat proverb - it's better to live
an hour as a tiger than a lifetime as a worm.
94
00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:09,350
There's an old human proverb -
whoever heard of a wormskin rug?
95
00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,156
Yeah, nice stickwork, man.
96
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,389
- Something's coming.
- Nothing on the navicomp.
97
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:25,909
I can smell it. Something big.
98
00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:29,590
- I'm getting nothing, either.
- These nostrils never lie.
99
00:09:29,800 --> 00:09:33,998
He's right. Co-ordinates 5341 by 6163.
100
00:09:34,160 --> 00:09:39,678
Take a peek. There's a meteor bigger
than King Kong's first dump of the day...
101
00:09:39,840 --> 00:09:42,229
and it's steaming straight towards us.
102
00:09:42,760 --> 00:09:45,320
- Too vast to go around.
- Reverse thrust!
103
00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:49,069
There's no time.
Face it, we're deader than corduroy.
104
00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:53,068
- Kryten, you know what to do.
- On my way, sir.
105
00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:56,795
- What's he doing?
- He's customised the waste disposal unit,
106
00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,396
turned it into a high-impact garbage cannon.
107
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:03,876
You're going to shoot it
with tins and banana peel?!
108
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:07,470
There's a surprise in there -
a thermos of nitroglycerine.
109
00:10:07,680 --> 00:10:11,309
- Waste disposal unit armed and ready.
- Kryten, will this work?
110
00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:13,436
Lie mode.
111
00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:16,797
Of course it'll work, sir. No worries.
112
00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:22,876
Hook, line, sinker, rod
and copy of "Angling Times", sir.
113
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:26,233
- Here it comes!
- Ready, Kryten? Fire!
114
00:10:29,080 --> 00:10:30,399
Yes!
115
00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,831
Relocating Red Dwarf's trail.
At present speed and course,
116
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:38,798
estimated time to interception,
12 hours, 7 minutes.
117
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,675
I'm getting something new,
and it does not smell good.
118
00:10:43,640 --> 00:10:46,757
There. Got it. Looks like some kind of ship.
119
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,911
Wait, there's another... and another.
120
00:10:49,120 --> 00:10:52,237
- I'm getting them too. Ten... no, twelve.
- All derelicts.
121
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:55,233
It's like a giant spaceship graveyard.
122
00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:04,351
Who else feels that we've been led here
like lambs to a kebab shop?
123
00:11:04,560 --> 00:11:07,757
We don't move
till we know what happened here.
124
00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,036
Recommend we stop and launch scouter.
125
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,231
Engines stopped. Scouter launched.
126
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,112
We're in.
127
00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,993
- What's that?
- Human remains.
128
00:11:28,160 --> 00:11:31,914
Wait. Angle up five degrees.
Across ten degrees.
129
00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,838
There. Some kind of writing on the floor.
130
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:40,790
P- S-l-R-E-N-S.
131
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,313
Psirens.
132
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:45,392
The poor devil scrawled it in his death throes,
133
00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:50,156
using a combination of his own blood
and even his own intestines.
134
00:11:50,320 --> 00:11:54,791
- Who would do that?
- Someone who badly needed a pen.
135
00:11:57,080 --> 00:12:02,154
Why go to the trouble
of using his kidney as a full stop?
136
00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:07,711
I don't think he meant that.
It probably just plopped out.
137
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:15,155
Whoever he was, he was desperate to warn
any wretches who wandered into the same trap.
138
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:20,629
Scouter's located the black box.
139
00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,910
OK. Replay final entry.
140
00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:28,514
They're closing in.
They're all over the ship.
141
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:32,913
I know I'm next.
It's just a matter of time before...
142
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:37,433
Oh, God! You're beautiful!
I can't resist you.
143
00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,309
Have to be strong. I know what you want!
144
00:12:41,480 --> 00:12:48,192
No, you don't want to love me. You want
to suck out my brains with that straw.
145
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,510
Get away from me!
146
00:12:53,040 --> 00:12:55,793
What have you done, you evil harlot!
147
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:59,077
You've squeezed the ketchup out of my burger!
148
00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:03,677
Now what? No! Get that straw out of my ear!
149
00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:25,837
OK. Scouters checked out black boxes
on three of the derelicts.
150
00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:30,716
This belt is swarming with some kind
of genetically engineered life-form
151
00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:33,440
who can alter your perception telepathically.
152
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:37,149
They're called Psirens,
like with Ulysses in the Turkish legend.
153
00:13:37,360 --> 00:13:39,510
- The legend was Greek, sir.
- Whatever.
154
00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:42,638
Some country big on curly shoes and hoummos.
155
00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:47,510
They use this power of illusi�n
to lure you onto the asteroids.
156
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:51,832
Then they take whatever they can use...
and suck out your brains.
157
00:13:52,040 --> 00:13:55,316
They shouldn't bother us.
There's barely a snack on-board.
158
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,918
We can't turn back. We'll lose Red Dwarf.
159
00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:04,830
We'll be through the belt in four hours.
Just stay on the case.
160
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:10,028
They'll try to tempt us, scare us -
anything to force us onto the rocks.
161
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,470
Incoming message.
162
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,631
It's pretty weak.
163
00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:19,831
Please help us.
Our settlement is almost extinct.
164
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:23,310
- There are only women left.
- Barely 3,000 of us.
165
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:28,793
If we are to survive, we need males
to spread their seed amongst our number.
166
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:33,238
- We beg you... make love to us.
- Make love to all of us.
167
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:38,594
You heard 'em,
they want seed-spreaders. I'm going to apply.
168
00:14:38,760 --> 00:14:42,833
You guys deal with this Psiren thing.
I'll deal with this.
169
00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:50,915
Call me paranoid,
but you don't think they were Psirens?
170
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:55,956
Even the brunette?
171
00:14:56,320 --> 00:15:00,711
If you want me, I'll be taking
a cold shower in liquid oxygen.
172
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:08,593
If that's the most sophisticated enticement
they can throw at us, we're hardly in danger.
173
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:14,272
If I may postulate, that was merely the level
of sophistication required to lure the Cat.
174
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:19,036
Had we not stopped him,
he would be on an asteroid, with no brain,
175
00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:24,274
trying to write "Oh, boy, was I suckered?"
With his own intestinal tract.
176
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,671
Incoming message. Here they go again.
177
00:15:31,480 --> 00:15:35,075
This Captain Tau of the SCS Pioneer.
We're under attack.
178
00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:39,677
Some form of scavengers... Psirens.
179
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:44,391
They lured us onto this asteroid,
killed most of the crew.
180
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:48,595
Is this genuine?
181
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,437
Don't try to help us.
We're finished. Save yourselves.
182
00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:58,149
- Kochanski!
- Dave? Is that you?
183
00:15:58,320 --> 00:16:01,869
- I thought you were dead.
- No time to explain.
184
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:05,316
- Get out of the belt while you can!
- It's Kochanski.
185
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,478
We'll be OK. They'll never take us alive.
186
00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,679
I'm keeping three bullets,
for me and the two kids.
187
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,077
- Kids?!
- Your two sons, Dave.
188
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:18,231
How...? L-I don't understand.
189
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:22,718
When you went into stasis,
I broke into the sperm bank on Red Dwarf.
190
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:28,711
You're a father. Here they come!
Jim, Bexley, come to Mummy.
191
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:32,674
Wait! I'm coming!
Kryten, bazookoids. Rimmer, plot a course.
192
00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,110
Tune into Sanity FM!
193
00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:41,068
- You saying they were Psirens?
- It's as plain as a Bulgarian pin-up.
194
00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,634
- More trouble heading straight for us.
- What?
195
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:47,519
What do you call
giant meteorites covered in flames?
196
00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:50,069
- Giant flaming meteorites.
- That's it.
197
00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:55,436
Should I load the garbage cannon?
198
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:57,830
- It wouldn't make a dent.
- Course change.
199
00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:00,759
- Engaging re-heat.
- There's nothing on the radar.
200
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,996
- So?
- I think it's another illusi�n.
201
00:17:03,200 --> 00:17:06,590
- Psirens?
- Cat? Are you getting any scent from it?
202
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:09,149
They got a duty-free shop?
203
00:17:09,360 --> 00:17:11,430
- Can you smell anything?
- No.
204
00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,349
Suggest we maintain present course.
That fireball does not exist.
205
00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:17,915
- Say you're wrong?
- I'll stake my reputation.
206
00:17:18,120 --> 00:17:21,908
- You haven't got a reputation.
- I will after this escapade.
207
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:25,275
It's closing. Too late to run.
208
00:17:25,480 --> 00:17:27,710
Relax, gentlemen. You're quite safe.
209
00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:32,310
Ah. Smug mode.
210
00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:37,270
Well... I can't hang around here
saving your necks all day.
211
00:17:37,440 --> 00:17:41,319
I guess I'll make a start on that ironing.
212
00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:47,470
I'm getting another one.
Better get Kryten. He'll know what to do.
213
00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:53,556
I'm perfectly capable of dealing with a giant
flaming meteorite, thank you very much.
214
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:58,794
We do not need help from a droid with
a head like a genetically flawed lumpfish.
215
00:17:58,960 --> 00:18:02,635
OK, keep your "H" on. So what do we do?
216
00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:05,758
There's nothing on the radar. We do nothing.
217
00:18:05,920 --> 00:18:09,754
Guys, what's happening?
Cabin temperature's rising.
218
00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:12,599
Psirens again. Another illusi�n. It's in hand.
219
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:16,190
What if the fireball's real
and the radar read-out's the illusi�n?
220
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,675
Gentlemen, relax. We're quite safe.
221
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,513
- Any damage?
- Not too bad. Two sensors are out,
222
00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:43,277
fuel-intake chambers are flooded
and the seat doesn't go up and down any more.
223
00:18:43,480 --> 00:18:46,313
- We're intact?!
- Starbug was built to last, sir.
224
00:18:46,480 --> 00:18:50,393
This baby's crashed more times than a ZX81.
225
00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:56,916
It's what it's made of. Aerospace engineers
discovered that, after a plane crash,
226
00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:02,791
the one thing that survives is a cute doll,
so they built this with the same stuff.
227
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,639
- Is that a fact?
- You're so gullible.
228
00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:07,559
Thanks!
229
00:19:07,760 --> 00:19:11,196
- How long before we can take off?
- Just... Oh, wait.
230
00:19:11,360 --> 00:19:16,036
The front landing stanchion is embedded
in rock. We have to blast it free.
231
00:19:16,240 --> 00:19:18,595
- I'll go.
- Sir, the atmosphere is thin,
232
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:21,069
and this place is crawling with Psirens.
233
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:25,796
You look after the engine.
I'll go and be brave. Two minutes maximum.
234
00:19:29,840 --> 00:19:32,638
- How's that?
- Looking good.
235
00:19:32,800 --> 00:19:34,995
We'll clear the rest on take-off.
236
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:39,872
- On me way back.
- Hi, Dave.
237
00:19:40,080 --> 00:19:44,551
- Smeggin' hell. Pete Tranter's sister?
- Remember me, Dave?
238
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:48,315
You lusted after me all through your puberty.
239
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:53,598
And now, at last, I can be yours.
240
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:56,872
Stay back. I know what you want.
241
00:19:57,040 --> 00:20:00,430
It's in my head. That's where it's staying.
242
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,068
You know what you want.
243
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:09,110
You want to squeeze my buttocks together
to make one juicy giant peach.
244
00:20:10,600 --> 00:20:14,513
I get it. You want me
to drown in my own drool.
245
00:20:14,680 --> 00:20:18,559
- Don't fight it.
- Stay back, Pete Tranter's sister.
246
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,679
How long has it been
since you made love to a woman?
247
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,718
I admit it's been a while.
248
00:20:26,880 --> 00:20:30,919
- It's been three million years.
- I count it in ice ages.
249
00:20:31,080 --> 00:20:34,868
Then it's only four.
In leap ice ages, hardly even one.
250
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:40,518
That's a long time, Dave,
for a man of your drives.
251
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:46,158
It's a long time for an Albanian shepherd
who's allergic to wool.
252
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:51,551
- Kiss me.
- I can't resist you any more.
253
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:58,237
Your death will be exquisite.
I'll take you to the peak of ecstasy,
254
00:20:58,400 --> 00:21:01,039
then I'll blow your mind.
255
00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,312
Come on, Dave. Let's get out of here.
256
00:21:28,200 --> 00:21:29,997
"Dave"?
257
00:21:35,520 --> 00:21:38,671
- Sir? Is everything OK?
- What's the delay?
258
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:42,355
Two Psirens killed each other
fighting over my brains.
259
00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:46,229
Oh, smeg. It's the TV weather girl
from Channel 27.
260
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,198
- Fight it. Don't look.
- It's not that easy.
261
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,476
You can't see what she's doing.
262
00:21:51,680 --> 00:21:55,639
- I'm starting up the engines.
- Get back in here now!
263
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,791
On me way.
264
00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:00,833
It's me.
265
00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:04,680
It's getting hairy out there. Let's vamoose.
266
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:08,949
Why the hell are you taking off? Let me in!
267
00:22:09,160 --> 00:22:13,472
- Sir, you're already here.
- He's a Psiren. Don't let him in.
268
00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:17,952
For God's sake! He's the Psirenl Let me in!
269
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:20,958
- What do we do?
- We've got to let him in.
270
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:26,712
Then we'll definitely have a Psiren on-board,
a psychotic temporal lobe slurper.
271
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,309
There's a 50% chance we already have.
272
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:31,755
We can't risk killing Mr Lister.
273
00:22:36,800 --> 00:22:39,837
How many times? He's the Psiren. I'm me.
274
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:43,515
How can you believe this?!
He doesn't even look like me.
275
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,393
He's podgy. He hasn't got my profile.
276
00:22:46,600 --> 00:22:50,309
- You're both identical.
- No way!
277
00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,909
I'm going to try some tests.
278
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,674
Both right-handed. Correct. Kryten?
279
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:04,194
Now, gentlemen. Trim your toenails.
280
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:10,556
Enough!
281
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:16,109
- Play the guitar.
- What?
282
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:19,477
- Here? Inside?
- Play it.
283
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,318
- How did you know?
- That dude could play.
284
00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:46,718
- He was no better than me.
- That's how you believe you play.
285
00:23:46,880 --> 00:23:49,838
The Psiren read your mind,
sharing your delusi�n
286
00:23:50,000 --> 00:23:53,197
that you are NOT
a tone-deaf, talentless noise-polluter.
287
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,029
You're seriously saying
you think he was better than me?
288
00:24:04,240 --> 00:24:06,834
- What's the difference?
- Little survival tip, bud.
289
00:24:07,000 --> 00:24:10,197
Never play in front of a man with a gun.
290
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:15,793
I resent this.
I resent you saving my life in this way.
291
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:18,030
Er... Where's it gone?
292
00:24:18,240 --> 00:24:21,630
It's crawled down to the engine room.
293
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:24,109
Meteor storm off the starboard bow!
294
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,551
Suggest Mr Rimmer and I pursue the Psiren.
295
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:30,955
Er... That's QUITE a good plan.
296
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:36,114
Excellent but for one detail.
I think you know what it is. Bye!
297
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,394
Please, there's no logic
in trying to engage me in combat.
298
00:24:57,560 --> 00:25:00,836
I am unseduceable in that I have no desires,
299
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:06,028
and my brain is synthetic
and of no use to you. Give yourself up.
300
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:09,559
Professor Mamet? My creator.
301
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:13,358
- Hello, Kryten.
- What is the function of this illusi�n?
302
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:18,475
You cannot harm me. It's coded into you.
You're totally defenceless against me.
303
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,752
True. However,
the others are not so hampered.
304
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:25,839
You're also programmed
to obey my commands. Drop the radio.
305
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,879
- Open the waste compactor.
- What are you doing?!
306
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:35,550
- Climb inside.
- No! No!
307
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:39,038
- This serves no...
- Engage the mechanism.
308
00:25:42,320 --> 00:25:43,912
You are sick!
309
00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:45,873
Die.
310
00:25:48,080 --> 00:25:50,150
Kryten? You there?
311
00:25:50,360 --> 00:25:55,434
The meteor storm was an illusi�n.
The Psiren's not as badly injured as we thought.
312
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:56,919
Kryten?
313
00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:03,795
- It's got him.
- Kryten!
314
00:26:10,240 --> 00:26:14,233
My battery's going.
Only seconds left. I need a recharge...
315
00:26:16,440 --> 00:26:19,113
And then there were two.
316
00:26:24,600 --> 00:26:26,909
- Want a drink?
- Buddy, I'm parched.
317
00:26:27,120 --> 00:26:32,148
Wait a minute. What's a vending machine
doing in the engine room?
318
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,150
I'm almost annoyed.
319
00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:24,314
- We're clear of the belt.
- What about Red Dwarf?
320
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:27,074
It's gone into that gas nebula.
321
00:27:27,280 --> 00:27:30,158
Then that's where we're heading.
322
00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:33,000
- Tea?
- Cheers, man.
323
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:38,280
Don't put it on the console, sir.
It leaves ugly rings. Use me as a table.
324
00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:42,991
- I thought you were fixing yourself.
- Not before I've finished my duties, sir.
325
00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:46,152
I can't go engaging my self-repair unit,
326
00:27:46,320 --> 00:27:50,711
not with a pile of laundry
like the north face of the Eiger.
327
00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:54,555
Besides, Cat has invited me
to the crap game tonight.
328
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,194
He's gonna be the dice.
329
00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:01,511
- Approaching nebula.
- Well, let's see what's in there.
330
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,230
there's no kind of atmosphere
331
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:12,710
332
00:28:12,880 --> 00:28:16,031
333
00:28:16,200 --> 00:28:18,760
334
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,629
335
00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,076
336
00:28:26,240 --> 00:28:29,277
337
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:32,716
338
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:35,519
339
00:28:35,680 --> 00:28:39,229
340
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,198
341
00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:46,433